Are you a lesbian or bi person? Are you a heterosexual man or woman? Don't worry, we have stereotypes for everyone! The strapon is in fact the sextoy most prone to stereotyping, let's see together what makes it so!
The strapon is still very much associated with the world of porn, kinky and BDSM, very little is said about it in other contexts. In porn, the strapons that are used are often oversized, used more as punitive tools than as instruments of pleasure.
Women who wear it in porn use it exactly as a straight man would with his penis, focusing everything on penetration and forgetting about the rest.
The strapon is not just penetration and domination, it is so much more. The strapon is connection, it is giving taking pleasure in giving pleasure, it is having free hands to be able to feel and touch other erogenous zones of our* partners' bodies. There are other reasons to use the strapon and we have summarized them here.
But let's see together what are the most well-known stereotypes about this sex toy:
1. If you like wearing it, it means you wish you were a man.
Are you a straight, bisexual or lesbian woman? Here is one of the most common stereotypes about wearing a strapon, especially common among lesbian women where the stereotype lesbian=tomboy is very common. Wearing a sextoy has nothing to do with gender identity. Gender identity and strapon use are unrelated.
Sex, our fantasies, and in this case penetration do not define our gender identity, to define the latter we need other elements that we will not discuss in this article (they would deserve a separate article).
2. If you like to receive it you are not a real lesbian.
Here we are with the other side of the coin, if you are a lesbian who likes penetration there is something wrong with your sexual orientation. In order lesbian women have been told at least one of these phrases:
- But are you really sure you are a lesbian?
- Come on, what you're finally missing is a penis!
- But isn't a real penis nicer?
Rolling eyes for each of these statements is more than legitimate. All these statements actually hide an extremely phallocentric idea of sex that has nothing to do with people's real pleasure and desires.
Being a lesbian person does not define your sexual tastes in terms of penetrative sex. In fact, it is by no means certain that heterosexual people like penetration. In addition, there are other factors that can affect the pleasure you experience during penetration which can be psychophysical conditions such as vulvodynia and vaginismus just to name a few.
It is important to always remember that sexual orientation is not defined by how we like to give or take pleasure.
But then, what does it mean you are not a real lesbian in 2023? Come on.
3. Straight man and you like pegging? My dear friend you are gay
This is also another token sterotype that has nothing to do with anyone's sexual orientation. Men's bodies are equipped with the prostate gland, which gives pleasure when stimulated through anal sex. Why should only gay men enjoy this pleasure? Why not get rid of these unnecessary shackles and enjoy it a little the way we like it?
4. If you use the strapon then you like BDSM.
It is true that the strapon is often linked to pornography and BDSM, and there is no negative connotation to this association. We would like to proudly claim however, the use of the strapon even by vanilla couples, the strapon also fits in with Sunday, home and why not, routine sex.
Conclusion.
The strapon is the one sextoy that still struggles to became popular precisely because of these stereotypes in which it gets stuck. The strapon has nothing to do with our gender identity or sexual orientation this is especially true for straight men and lesbian women. The strapon is a tool for connection and pleasure that can help facilitate penetrative sex and is not necessarily related to BDSM or power dynamics. Much more often it is related to the idea of giving pleasure to one's partner or enjoying penetrative sex with hands free and able to stimulate other erogenous parts.